notquiteivy.com

…on Craigslist?

I debated posting this for a while, but I figured, what the hell.

I was browsing the Casual Encounters for my area up here in the North (I browse random Craigslist categories when I get bored, deal with it) when, among the countless posts with enticing titles like “strapon - w4m - 28″ and “looking to suck c**k - w4m - 23″, I saw a post entitled “sex, drugs, and rock and roll - w4m - 20“.

Intrigued, I clicked.

(My notes are italics.)

sex, drugs, and rock and roll - w4m - 20
Reply to: pers-501926017@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-12-07, 2:54PM EST

not really. but two of those are pretty good. [I'm assuming she means sex and rock and roll, but I've been wrong before.]

so hello.

i am looking for someone who is intellectual, cultural, and into the arts and musics [not your standard Craigslist wants list, vaguely describes me.]. i feel i have a deeper connection
with someone who is into the same things i am into [thus, she must be into being intellectual, cultural, in addition to artsy/music-y.]. i am big on bands, and arts, and i love comic books- but i’m not looking for a best friend, i’m looking for a friends with benefits since i don’t have much time to deal with relationships [relationships are work.].

you should be looking for the same thing, and not just looking for a quickie because you’re girlfriend isn’t fulfilling your needs.
i don’t want to be a homewrecker, or just sleeping with someone who is already attached, it’s just not attractive to me [she has some semblance of standards, sweeet.].

so heres to the good stuff, i like a guy who likes to take control in the bedroom, basically has no limits, and if so i can respect them as long they can respect mine. someone who is tall and lean, and takes care of them selves hygienically, is clean, safe, sane, and not crazy. (i know i am asking alot, but damn, there has to be someone out there) [indeed. okay, so i just sounded creepy.]

i dont expect you to send a picture to me, as for i dont really expect to send one to you unless i know for sure we are going to meet in person.
last thing i need is my picture floating around.

i am a female, and i am real, so if you are too, just write me, and we can figure this thing out [being a female AND real is always a plus in these situations].

So what we have here is someone who may or may not be my dream girl, or some shade thereof…assuming she has scene hair (but really, what girls into intellectual, cultural guys who likes the arts and music doesn’t?) and wears converses (at least sometimes).

What’s a real boy to do?

(Probably, most likely, pretty-sure; nothing.)